Scary dream

I enter a hotel room, regal white curtains pulling Marylin Monroe skirt phase action over a breathtaking view of jungle canopies. I'm pretty tired so I head towards the bed. Pulling up the covers, I'm surprised to find a serpent-eyed man with a pale complexion lying there staring straight back. He says, "Hi, I'm Jesus the Messiah." Apparently, I'm too tired to pay him any heed so I slip under and close my eyes.

Then the guy starts tickling me and in my head I go, "Aw hell no." I try to jab my heel into his gut, but before I know it he's on top of me, pinning my arms on both sides. I flash kick up his chin and dart down to the main lobby. He's beaten me there, blocking the revolving door!

I call for my friend, "Pontius Pilate!" A Chinese who looks like Roy Mustang from Full Metal Alchemist appears to my side, and at the snap of his fingers, lights Jesus on fire to char beyond recognition.

This is proof I need a Savior.