mardi 12 octobre 2010

I am now an interpreter!!

With my sister still new to the community (of Christ, dundundun) she's been asking questions on what preachers actually talk about, since it's filled with this weird Biblical jargon sometimes. Subsequently, I have reflected hard on my own evident change in diction since going through the past 2 years of college ministry. In doing so, I would like to say I've become a proficient interpreter/translator between Christian secular-speak.

I present an authoritative list for reference. Users will find it extremely helpful when needing to communicate churchy thoughts without fear of misunderstanding. Situations to use these words run the gamut from sermons to everyday speech. Examples of usage are also provided to illustrate tone that the phrases carry for each group. Phrases marked with (*) carry supplemental enrichment for more advanced users.

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the body
churchgoers, near-apostates, Jesus folk
Usage: We, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

One such group of needy people are churchgoers.

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spiritual gift random talent
Usage: "My spiritual gift is prophetic visions." "Snap, mine is healing."

"My random talent is knowing when my roommate will wake up." "Oh, I can wrap a tourniquet because I've been watching TLC since I was a kid."

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blessed happy
Usage: She said yes! I'm so blessed!
By God's grace*, it was such a blessing to hear your testimony.

She said yes! I'm so happy!
We were really lucky* to hear your story; it made us happy.

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God's redemptive plan time
Usage: Soon, all things* will be revealed** in God's redemptive plan.

At some later point in time, we'll figure out** this sh--*.

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gosh god
Usage: Gosh darn.
Oh my gosh, he literally* never listens to me.


Godamit.
Oh my god, he f---ing* never listens to me.

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and this one's a monster!!
Holy Spirit
energy, feelings
Usage: I'm so tired, I need the Holy Spirit to fill me.
I am being convicted by the Holy Spirit to help them.
Father, may your Holy Spirit enable me to reach out to them in Christ love*.

I'm so tired, I need energy.
I feel like helping them.
I want to talk* to them.

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Am I missing any!?

1 Corinthians 14:13

5 commentaires:

  1. discern <---> make mountains out of molehills.

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  2. PHAHAHAHA!!!
    I wish i can like Christine's post.
    PHAHAH!!!

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  3. @christine: submit <---> be nice

    also, another good one:
    fellowship <---> chillin' pointlessly

    -We have fellowship after service, snacks provided!
    -We are chillin' pointlessly after service, share the chips.

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  4. haha the white church scene: http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2011/07/the_worst_ever_christian_clich.html

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