The will of God #2

Going through the book of Acts with my missions team besets my soul with an appropriate awe at the sovereignty of God. Quite clearly, he accomplishes his kingdom-expanding purposes by using the beating, flogging, persecution, stoning, and martyrdom of his servants. Through suffering, the gospel mushrooms out of Jerusalem into the land of Gentiles. Indeed, these would be the "greater works" that Christ prophesies would be greater than the works he did during his earthly ministry. I sit here reflecting on what future trials are coming that I would be privileged to face. Christ suffered immensely in order to give life to a dead world, and t'would be a privilege to similarly suffer for the sake of his name.

I also reflect on the nature of fellowship and how it sometimes can lose this paradigm. How many times do we see the fellowship strive for familiar comfort and vain hanging out? Not necessarily wrong in of itself, but it was so clear to me that it was simply a pattern, of that being the natural inclination of our hearts instead of going out of our comfort into the "land of Gentiles." To prevent being passive aggressive, I'll just make it known that I am talking specifically about my college fellowship.

But I also saw glimpses of redemption. We consecrate things to God and his will in our own will, that is, our own intentionality. That, my friends, is a made-up Christian word that will haunt me for the rest of my life...yet it's always relevant. Let's take fellowship hanging out as an example. Drawing lessons from my mentor and my coleaders, debriefing after such things has been tremendously helpful in cementing how we saw God move and how we pray he will continue to work. That is redeeming. That is being God-centered.

Speaking from experience, intentionality in all things has given me great peace these past months to close my college career, as opposed to the frenetic, empty pleasure-grabbing marked by Christians and non-Christians who are both guilty of this. This has involved the following:

• Again, on the subject of preparing for young adult life, I needed to assume that I will have no intimate community. This makes it easy to avoid abusing the community as my source of life which would thereby destroy it.
• Preaching the gospel to friends whom I may never see again was a top imperative. Being a friend to friends whom I may never see again, you can call it the same thing.
• Saying what I needed to say. Not being afraid about people's opinions of me. Being open about who I am, weaknesses and all.

Admittedly, I failed so many times to love and protect others for the sake of self-interest and I can only now see it as a painful means of grace to draw lessons from. Those mistakes stem from lack of intentionality, so LORD, forgive me. Open my heart to see your surpassing worth that I may die to myself and boldly walk in your precepts.