Yue-Kee's-induced insomnia

Going through a spiritual attack atm so I'm trying to find all sorts of reminders of the gospel. Ed has written a very nice piece just for that. May not in word or deed or prayer I find my rest but in God alone.

Kevin DeYoung also wrote a pretty crazy article on the following:

Now if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure- not to put it too severely- to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. (2 Corinthians 2:5-7)

Church, can you both discipline and forgive? Without discipline, the church is a bastardized social club. Without forgiveness, the church is lost and does not know Jesus. Let us not impose both no standards and impossible standards.

"The true Christian will not pit grace against truth, love against faithfulness, discipline against forgiveness, unity against purity."

Aint that somethin'?

a hurting Pharisee

Heavenly Father,

Seriously, why is truth so important to me?

Is it that bad to preach a self-esteem gospel?

Is it that bad to not preach the power of the cross?

Is it that bad to read material cited from the Emergent church?

Is it that bad to sponsor pragmatism as a means for church growth?

Is it that bad to be a teacher and associate with heretics?

Is it that bad to emphasize experience over your word?

Yes, right!?

They speak of your faithfulness to the great congregation but it is not of your standard. Am I referring to a standard of my flesh or your holy standard? Only you know.

O LORD, I go absolutely nuts when I see friends being influenced. Is this righteous anger or envious frustration from not being able to bless others like these "heretics" do?

O LORD, I seek to do your will. It is by the spirit of God that I wish to cast out demons, that I wish bring your truth renown in order for your kingdom to come upon us. But how can I do good if I am evil? Only through you I hope to bear good fruit.

O LORD, I know not which way is yours and which way is destruction. I easily see myself being a creator of this site. Woe to me if it comes to that! Help me not delight in sin but in its defeat. Do not restrain your mercy from me, glorify yourself by stuffing me with your steadfast love. May I see my neighbors as greater than myself.

O LORD, I'm scared. I do not want anymore broken and strained relationships in my efforts to proclaim your truth, but if it is your will may it be done. I do not wish pride to overtake me and I do not wish to be justified through myself. Sin, what an enemy! I know I will give an account for every careless word I speak. Therefore without Christ, I am condemned.

My delight is in you. Your wisdom, your law, your everything. Fill me with more of you!

In Christ's name, amen.

Jesus doesn't love everybody the same way

Title taken from a Desiring God sermon clip.

If you went to OIL, then you got a hold of Dr. Carson's Scandalous. In it he argues against the notion that God was so favorable, so loving to the world that if only people weren't sinful they could enjoy fellowship with Him. He argues against Jesus' work merely serving as a cancellation of sin, which implies an impersonal wrath poured on people. But of course, His wrath is very personal for He is a jealous God and all sin wholly goes against Him.

These issues are all very interesting, with my friend Ed wishing the following questions to be answered by Dr. Carson: Could you clarify how God loves sinners apart from Christ? Does He love them when He sends them to hell? The questions never got to the panel.

So in light of Dr. Carson's book and some references my friend Sam pointed me to, I do think there is a satisfying answer within Reformed theology.

• First, God definitely hates sin but He also hates sinners, the ones apart from Christ. He hated Esau (Malachi 1:3). Or shall we say He sovereignly did not choose Esau to join in fellowship with Him? The word hate and love seem to come at odds with love's divine embodiment (1 John 4:8). However, it is clear that God hates the reprobate and endures their eternal disobedience (Psalm 139:22, Romans 9:22). To the most Holy, endure is an appropriate word.
• God doesn't need to love anyone. The characteristic of love is not dependent on loving us. Triune community. So we all deserve His wrath (Amos 3:2, Romans 3:23). Done.
• God graciously shows love through His elect. God only loves His elect (read Ephesians...). Jesus only intercedes for the elect (John 17:9). This glorifies Him by highlighting the magnitude of grace to those saved solely by grace.

Maybe it's just more correct to make the title of this entry "Jesus doesn't love everybody." This makes me want to evangelize hard. And repent just as fervently. May these be the reactions to all who remind themselves of these truths.

❤

"Someone's love means absolutely nothing to you unless it is directed exclusively and committedly at you." - by some Brit, Michael Ramsden.

If the spirit of Christ enables, I would like to increase my capacity to love people with this tagged qualification. A love that chases. A love that is highly inefficient...but what worthwhile things ever are?

Gospel on steroids

I really abuse this phrase :]

Quickly, some convictions from OIL:

1) Continued discouragement in the midst of repentance is not victory in Christ! If I'm still sad after repenting, I am making the statement that Christ is not enough for me.

2) God, in His wisdom, placed two irksome guys in my winter break walk so that my capacity to love would increase. I love these guys, and that statement is not of my flesh.

3) Wisdom ascertained from dumb past relationships was actually useful in somewhat guiding an underclassman in this field of study. That's twice now for two people.

4) Heart softened to failures of different pastors. Using my experience to warn fellow brothers of legalism and unlove that comes with self justification.

Alright next semester, bring it!!

Ministry of the pew

Winter break concludes with the OIL conference starting Wednesday, which means that break is effectively over by the end of tomorrow. It's been blessing in that time has been (with occasional contest) God-centered, deliberate, missional, and therefore, not wasted as per the norm. What has helped is the above chart taken from The Trellis and the Vine. Blue shows activities I usually reserve for on-campus settings and red shows what efforts have been expended here at home.

This evaluation has shed some light. I am convicted by my fear of man, where I'm afraid to be more missional at Penn for the sake of maintaining a professional, smooth socio-/academic network. Atm, God is smaller than people and career. So a couple of changes are in order. I need a Exodus 34:29 face and start grafting the vine as I have been grafted.

This work could start in Renewal, where time in the cold basement - fellowship - could be spent with more word-sharing. I don't care if it's awkward. It could move to campus, where with secular friends I embark on (woah!) word-sharing. I don't care if it's awkward. If you're a non-believing friend of mine still reading this blog (heh, though doubtful after all the Jesus-talk here recently), please bring up Jesus in conversation!

The book of Acts isn't about church growth. It's about gospel growth and word increase (Acts 10:44, Colossians 1:5-6).

you have no needs

Jesus did not die to increase our self-esteem. Rather, Jesus died to bring glory to the Father by redeeming people from the curse of sin... To look to Christ to meet our perceived psychological needs is to Christianize our lusts. We are asking God to give us what we want, so we can feel better about ourselves, or so we can have more happiness, no holiness, in our lives.

- Chapter 8 of When People are Big and God is Small

Have you recently felt underappreciated by those you serve? Or felt like a martyr as a byproduct of your selflessness? Woops. You need to go fear God, look to Christ then be delivered from the destructive weight of your ever-present sin. That is the blunt message of this enjoyable book. Pretty awesome, yea? It tears apart the notion that humans have psychological needs to feel happy or have good relationships. Isn't that why Eve came about? Nay.

There are only two lives. A life of worship or a life of a wretched worm. Real talk.