The art of losing myself is the art of joy

It could be hard to fathom, but I was ostensibly more prideful when I was younger. One clear example was my refusal to learn Chinese properly. As I sit here and prepare to go to Chengdu in hopes of showing God's love to a people I can barely communicate with, the regret is palpable.

The main reason that I hated learning Chinese was that it forced me to lose myself. Sardonic quips, mocking snark - these things I saw as precious facets of my personality. Chinese sarcasm (hyperboles, rather) is more to be mean than to be funny. It infuriated me to "condescend" to a language where sarcasm as I knew it didn't exist, and the extent of humor was cheesy puns. Our flesh naturally wants to make much of ourselves, but if only God helped me to see that people could really use less of my sarcastic personality anyways, much less the people I will minister to in the future.

And that is why - better late than never - I am now loving every second of learning Chinese. +Brendon Wu said once that if you find that your interests are not constantly changing, you should really question whether your love is genuine. We touched upon this in CG too (+Rachel Miao +Gloria Kim): we must love people in the way they feel loved. Their interests must become ours, in the same way Jesus condescended himself in human form to walk alongside us. My love for God and his people, and my desire to forget myself to make much of him, is now giving such education divine purpose and passion, to which there is much joy.